Sunday, February 20, 2011

First Day at Uni

I ran away from the tour group cause I had to pee (slash, had needed to go for two hours and made a break for it as soon as I got out of the lecture theater); never found them again, subsequently got lost (but then again that pretty much is my biggest talent). Found the bookstore and spent $300 on textbooks (and that's only half of them)... call my crazy but couldn't some of my $5000 a year I'm paying for this course pay for my textbooks? Apparently not, so then wtf am I paying for really? Find me a tour guide who can explain THAT to me. And then maybe I'll stop complaining about uni. Maybe.

Returned home to discover a lipstick from StrawberryNet had arrived (YESSSSSS), as did a letter from some insurance company offering me a Bill Relief Plan. Complete with interesting examples and case studies such as Sue, a 44 year old housewife who wanted to 'protect her lifestyle' (I'm not even sure what that means exactly). This is all quite interesting to me as I've actually never paid a bill in my life. But apparently I shouldn't "let such an important decision go by another day"!!! Shit, guys. All I need to do is sign the enclosed form and post it to them. (It says 'read the form, sign it and post it to us'; apparently actually thinking about anything it says in it is not so important)... erm. Dear Insurance Line, how the fuck did you get my name and address?

That's all I have to say with regards to this delightful day.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

If I could build a tunnel I would...

Before I start I would like to point out that I do have some other posts planned, including but not limited to some business about a ‘Stylish Blogger Award’ (oh my), but first, a summary of the day that was had:

1. I woke up in my own bed. Soooo good. I missed you, mattress!

2. I had to go to uni to pick up my student ID card. It was a very sunny day but I didn’t ravish the idea of slathering myself with sunscreen, because
a) I just spent 10 days doing that in Sydney, and lets not beat around the bush, it feels pretty grotty;
b) Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Empty Promises SPF30+ With Added Sadness caused both my mother and I to break out in a huge red spotty rash all over. Pretty sexy, but really quite painful and itchy and I’m reluctant to put anything on it.
So I had the great idea to wear stockings with a suspender belt, thus shielding my pins from the sun and also allowing a cool breeze to pass through. Little did I know that one of the clippy things (not sure of the technical term, sorry Vintage Enthusiasts) would decide to break before I even made it out the door. I craftily reattached it with a giant baby safety pin. Quite creative, but not so comfortable for sitting on a bus for an hour and a half, it must be said. Later in the day, sitting on a bench, the other clip got stuck in the bench through my skirt and also snapped open. I really felt Quite The Lady. Oh well, this is the quality one gets for $19.99 at Bras n Things. (I am looking into a proper one, just having troubles deciding. =/ )

Anyway back to uni – my ID card photo was hideous, just as it should be I suppose. It took all of two seconds to do, for 40 minutes of travel each way – gr8. The lady then suggested I head to the Student Association for some info on some Fun Camps I could take part in! I decided against this for the following reasons:
i – My intense dietary requirements would lead to two days of starvation and shame.
ii – Do I really want to be friends with the sort of people who go to uni camps? Judging from the sort of company I keep, probably not.
iii – Getting smashed with a bunch of strangers is likely not going to lead to lifelong friendships; actually in reality I would be avoiding anyone who I met there and got drunk with for the rest of my 4 years at uni.

</antisocial little bitch>

3. I decided to get lunch before heading home, reasoning that we didn’t have much in the fridge. However this lead to the phenomenon I often experience in a food court situation: ordering shit I don’t want. It’s almost magical – I walk in, start perusing the options and before I know it I’m left standing with a plate of whatever it may be, thinking “I don’t want you”. In this instance I ordered something I CAN’T EVEN EAT. Smart girl.

4. Got home and put in my timetable preferences. They’re not looking good, guys. Looks like I’ll be enjoying a Thursday of: 8am lecture, 4pm lecture, NOTHING IN THE MIDDLE.

5. I went to Flinders Street and as usual, suffered a need-to-pee attack as soon as I got there, requiring me to resort to (possibly) the most revolting toilets in all of Melbourne. And what should I spy but a LIPSTICK KISS on the wall. ???!?!?!?!???? I for one am all for lipstick kisses, but FLINDERS STREET TOILET WALL??? Whyyyyyyyyy.

6. Had my first burlesque class of the year, it was so good to be back; however I learned today that dancing on a chair is possibly more of a workout for your stomach than my acrobatics State Team Training ever provided. Gymnastics Victoria should really look into this for changing up their training routine, just a suggestion (but a good one).

7. I realised that the street by burlesque school is on, is also a street where you don’t have to watch the road when you’re driving, and you’re free to check out chicks on the street. And it’s okay to drive past them, staring at them and waving and honking, instead of, you know, stopping at a red light. I guess.

8. I went to Coles, and tried to get a single Chuppa Chup out of the giant Chuppa Chup stand (I’m an avid chup fan – oral fixation), which was harder than one might imagine. And when I finally wrestled the little fellow free, about 20 more fell out. Good design right there. The Coles girl told me not to worry but I felt like a pretty huge douche cause I just kind of stood there and stared at it. Then I had to run to catch my train. I would hate to have myself as a customer.

9. I wrote a draft list of my goals for 2011:

1.     Pass first year of uni
2.     Perform burlesque in front of an audience
3.     Get a piano accordion

I may add to this at a later date but that looks pretty solid to me at the moment. More detail on each of those later. For now, I will leave you with this: